Today was the 150th Melbourne Cup, an institutional horse race and cultural phenomenon in Australia. This picture about sums up what the day is about - fast horses, and beautiful hats. In some states, the race day - always the second Tuesday of November, like US Election Day - is a public holiday; where it isn't most people take the day off or do with the office for an afternoon of high fashion and betting. To get into the mood of the day I joined in the office pool (or "sweep"), but none of my horses won. Instead, a French horse called Americain (your guess is as good as mine) sped to victory.
The Cup is a tradition that plays right into another Aussie passion - gambling. Australians love to bet. The lotto is played at least twice a week; pubs are constantly showing horse racing, dog racing, and Keno; and slot machine are everywhere. Even small restaurants boast "Pokies," or poker machines, and the casino is proudly displayed in downtown, blocks form City Hall.
The only bets I've been hedging since touching down in Oz have had to do with how long I can go without seeing any deadly natives. So far so good, but today was a close call. This morning everyone at work received an email:
re: snake
Just so everyone knows, there is a large brown snake out back near the smoking
area
Followed shortly by this email, from someone with slightly more authority than the first sender:
re: snake(s)
A brown snake has also been spotted in the parking area. It goes without
saying that you should use use caution. We've called the environmental
agency to get advice on how to proceed.
Now, these emails do not seem very alarmist, with their lack of punctuation and casual tone, but after spending lots of time with Australians I was able to read between the lines and realize that it was time to panic. First of all, for an Australian to acknowledge that a snake is "large," means, in simple American terms, that the snake is freeking huge. My nerves were on edge before I even opened the email because if the snake-charmer Aussies thought these reptiles were significant enough to send an email to the entire office, something was going on. For them to call an agency to "get advice" meant it was time to start sealing the doors and windows.
A quick Google search enlightened me as to why this was a serious situation. Going back to the first email, I realized with a shiver that a "large brown snake" was actually a "large Brown Snake," the second most venomous snake in the world. If I were a smoker, this would have been enough to make me quit immediately. As it was, I considered just sleeping in the building to avoid walking outside, where massive, deadly snakes were surely waiting to sink their teeth in to American flesh.
I wish I was exaggerating for effect, but when it was time for me to leave, about six hours after the snakes were spotted, I walked directly down the middle of the road, not stepping within striking distance of the garden on either side.
"Did you see the snakes out here this morning?" I asked the security gaurd.
"It was about six foot long," he replied.
Needless to say, please don't expect a blog post on the day I actually do see a snake. I will be in hospital recovering from a bad case of shock. Until then, you will find me searching the ground before each step and sticking to pavement, praying for a modern-day Saint Patrick to come drive the snakes from Australia.
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